While Lotus’ ultralight go-kart rides have always turned average Joes into racetrack gods, their less-than-comfy interiors also ensured you’d be traveling lady-less. That’ll change later this year when Lotus unleashes the Evora, a supersexy midengine V-6 2+2. It’ll retain the brand’s road-hugging genius, but add posh interior touches favored by the fairer sex (and, uh, us too) as well as actual space to move around in, favored by our rapidly expanding buttocks.

SPEC CHECK
2010 Lotus Evora
Price:     $70,000+ 
Engine:     3.5-liter V-6
Torque:    252 lb.-ft.
Horsepower:     276
0–60 mph:     Under 5.0 sec.
Top speed:     160 (est.)
Available:     Late 2009

The Bones
Scotch-perspiring gearheads love to recite Lotus’ old engineering mantra: Add lightness. Here featherweight bonded aluminum extrusions—picture metal Play-Doh squirted into shapes—form the car’s backbone. The entire chassis weighs just 440 pounds, less than the typical American couple driving to Vegas. Plus or minus a few bags of pork rinds.

The Power Plant
Got a RAV4 or a Camry? Believe it or not, chances are the engine that powers your mommy-mobile is the same Toyota 3.5-liter V-6 that revs up this demon. Lotus drops the Toyota mill smack in the center of the Evora, right where a sports car likes it. Then it radically revamps the Tokyo six’s electronic controls for right-now throttle response and a healthy 276 horsepower.

 The Speed
The limeys over at Lotus insist that great sports cars aren’t about winning drag races—which is convenient when your cars don’t win any. Yet the Evora should scamper to 60 mph in a respectable five seconds. And, true to its heritage, it’ll make up for any straight-line deficits with deft, otherworldly handling and track-tastic brakes, steering, and suspension.

The Weight
The Evora flutters into dealerships this summer at 2,976 pounds, about 10 percent lighter than its mainstream rival, the Porsche 911. Its two tiny seats in back are fine for terrifying your toddlers—but forget about fitting your thick-necked bar-security buds in back. Those who prefer Prada man-bags to actual friends can spec a pure two-seater with a rear parcel shelf.

The Design
Fluid and Anglo-exotic, with more scoops than Baskin-Robbins, the Evora looks spot-on Lotus from 100 yards out. And as your eye gets lost in the cool details—the floating wing, the teardrop cabin shape—the Evora magically distracts you from its 2+2 four-passenger practicality. Lotus designers talk up its gentle waist and muscular haunches. Kind of creepy, guys.

The Interior
Unlike older Lotuses, the Evora doesn’t require you to be a yoga freak to fit into it. Inside you’ll think you made a wrong turn into a Maserati. The Evora ups the ante with a full-on bovine interior, a nav system, and a noise-canceling Alpine sound system—in case you get tired of hearing your tire-burning maneuvers echo off the foreclosed houses in your cul-de-sac.

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Peroni
Lager • Italy
This robust Roman makes us want to put on a track suit and play hide the salami!

Carlsberg
Pale Lager • Denmark
A fine, grassy brew with a tart finish.

Tennent’s of Scotland
Pale Lager • Scotland
Tastes like a Miller High Life with a brogue.

Löwenbräu Original
Lager • Germany
This sweet, tangy lager is well-suited to get you through long Bavarian nights.

Beck’s
Pilsner • Germany
Light, bold, and cures the thirsties fast.

St. Pauli Girl
Lager • Germany
Mild and malty with a clean finish and an über-hottie on the bottle.

Warsteiner Light
German Pilsner • Germany
A harsh start, chuggable finish.

Pilsner Urquell
Pilsner • Czech Republic
Refreshingly bitter.

Kirin Ichiban
Pale Lager • Japan
We’re happy to let this dry beer run kamikaze missions on our mouths any summer day.

Fischer Amber
Amber Ale • France
Leaves a sweet taste on the lips, much like our neighbor’s frisky French au pair.

Modelo Especial
Lager • Mexico
When habanero-infused carnitas are tearing your intestines apart, it’s best to drink a beer that’s light, uncomplicated, and goes down easy. Check, check, and check!

Tiger
Lager • Singapore
Clean and smooth, with a sugary finish. We like to pair it with spicy noodles and online Singaporean foot-binding porn.

Staropramen
Pilsner • Czech Republic
Peppery and great with late-night hot dogs. If it didn’t see us inhaling chili footlongs, it would have totally gone home with us.

Duvel
Pale Ale • Belgium
Citrus notes and surprisngly smooth despite its liver-loving 8.5 percent alcohol.

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Michelob Ultra
Pale Lager • St. Louis
Rainwater light, Mich Ultra is the perfect beer to drink during mid-August sweatfests, be it on a steamy golf course or in your YMCA sauna.

Heineken
Pale Lager • The Netherlands
Don’t let its uppity import rep spook you, Heini just want to hang, bro. It’s crisp bite will high-five you every time.

Miller Lite
Light Lager • Milwaukee
Sugary and clean, this Igloo-cooler soldier is like our mouth.

Michelob
Lager • St. Louis
A woody taste. This dry classic beer goes down easy, without any aftertaste.

Miller Genuine Draft
Pale Lager • Milwaukee
Light, with a touch of hops that triggers fond memories of high school parties. This is a good thing.

Bud Light (aluminum bottle)
Pale Lager • St. Louis
The King of Beer’s low-cal bro is our choice for drinking all night when dieting.

Amstel Light
Pale Lager • Amsterdam
This hoppy lager can be downed for hours.

Stella Artois
Pale Lager • Belgium
Think of this glass-smooth beer as a cute Euro gal you can drink with all night till you pass out and she steals your money belt.

Harp
Pale Lager • Ireland
Harp’s golden liquid is milder in taste than its cousins Guinness and Smithwick’s.

Michelob Light
Lager • St. Louis
Hints of caramel are a welcome bonus in this beer that runs right though you.

Blue Moon
Belgian Wheat • Toronto
We kind of hate wheat beers, but we love this one. Hints of Bazooka gum (no joke).

Miller High Life
Pale Lager • Milwaukee
The Champagne of Beers starts mild but ends crisp and sweet. Love that bottle.

Budweiser (aluminum bottle)
Pale Lager • St. Louis
The essential beer, with a snappy bite. 

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1893 Heritage Swiss Army Knife
Who It's For: Outdoorsmen/Collectors/Members of Swiss Army
Why They'll Love It: Is your dad the kind of guy who still has his childhood ticket stubs? Does he drool at the site of the words "limited edition"? Or maybe you have a buddy that genuinely just needs to cut things. Either way, this replica of the original Wenger Swiss Army Knife (as in, the one used by the actual Swiss Army) will definitely garner the oohs and ahs you're hoping for with a last minute gift. It's pricey, but you are paying for one of 1,893 units and the gift box that it's packaged in certainly wreaks of exclusivity. This is the kind of last-minute gift that will trick your old man into thinking you've been planning this one for months!
Buy It Here

Sex Panther Cologne
Who It's For: Random Buddy/White Elephant/Smelly Friend
Why They'll Love It: This is no joke. It's a real, tangible, smell-able product. Officially licensed from Anchorman, it gives you everything short of the growling box. And an added bonus, it doesn't smell like a diaper full of indian food. In fact, it actually smells alright. Certainly better than the other gag gift of the holiday season: Burger King's cologne. And remember, 60 percent of the time, it works every time.
Buy It Here


Foot Fist Way
Who It's For: Comedy Lovers/Martial Arts Instructors
Why They'll Love It: Have you got a friend that always likes to be the first the first one quoting the newest cult comedy? Buy them this movie and they will be thanking you later. Danny McBride took the summer by storm, appearing in Pineapple Express both Tropic Thunder, but before either of those roles he starred in this low-budget film about a tae kwon do instructor whose life is swirling out of control. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay bank rolled its release, and if they like it that much what makes you think your friend won't?

Toms Shoes
Who It's For: Philanthropists/Hippies/Friends With Feet
Why They'll Love It: For starters, they are just flat-out comfortable. They make great house/driving slippers and even a solid alternative to sandals in the summer if you are shy about your toe nails. Beyond that, for every pair you purchase you also provide a pair for a child in Ethiopia. When you get your shoes, you'll also get a certificate letting you know that you gave shoes to a child. The perfect gift for that ultra-humanitarian friend who "doesn't want anything." And if they really insist, then keep the shoes yourself and give them the certificate. Everybody wins!
Buy It Here

"Greatest Games" DVD Series
Who It's For: Sports Fans/Friend Whose Team Is Already Toast
Why They'll Love It: This is no pansy "Best of" DVD with a compilation of clips and former players talking about the good ol' days. This is literally full game footage of all your team's greatest moments. Let me repeat that: full game footage. So yes, you'll get that key third down conversion in the second quarter on top of all the major highlights you've seen time and time again. For any diehard, these will have them crying tears of joy like its 19(fill in the blank) all over again!

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"Cornered by the evil Dr. Fingerberg, MacGyver Cat contemplated his next move."

This week's prize is something special, especially for those who haven't eaten lunch yet—a Burger King Crown Card worth 50 dollars. That's right, 50 bucks worth of delicious food from The King. If you don't win, no worries—nothing stuffs stockings like the gift that keeps on giving...in the form of delicious breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Fill up a card and give it to your loved ones because really, nothing says "Happy Holidays" like three quarters of a pound of beef piled high with all that vegetable stuff on top.

To win, beat our caption above in the comments below, or just check out our super official Beat This Caption page.

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