We unveiled our RPM Awards in the November issue of Maxim, featuring the seven of the sweetest rides 2008 has to offer. The Honor Roll is the best of the rest…


MOST AROUSING DESIGN 2009
Maserati GranTurismo
While most cars are designed using a bunch of straight lines and a few curves, the $135,000 GranTurismo is as voluptuous as a Brazilian bombshell: Not a straight line on the damn thing. Who says you can’t drive the girl of your dreams?

GUERRILLA MARKETING AWARD
BMW’s Rampenfest
Rampenfest feels like a Christopher Guest flick for a reason: This online doc about a small German town’s attempts to build a ginormous ramp and launch a BMW 1-Series across the Atlantic is as authentic as a $22 Rolex. The town might be fictitious, and the Facebook account for the film’s director might be fake, but the flick’s 10 million Web site views are real.

THE NAPOLEON AWARD
Bruce Weiner’s Microcar Museum
Tucked away in a nondescript building just outside Atlanta is a stash of Goggomobils, Mes­serschmitts, and other pocket-size postwar buggi­es that are small enough to make Smart cars look like Freightliners. The pet project of gazillionaire car fiend Bruce Weiner, the Microcar Museum is proof that you don’t have to be an eco-weenie to dig tiny rides.

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOVIE SCENE
Bruce Wayne Wrecks a Real Lamborghini
The box office wasn’t the only thing mega-blockbuster flick The Dark Night smashed. We teared up during that chase scene when Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne crashes a non-CGI Lamborghini Murciélago LP640. The Italian company lent the film three of the $354,000 supercars; only two made it back. We haven’t been this choked up since Splash. Someone hand us a shammy cloth!

BEST REASON TO STAGE A HEIST
The Aston Martin One-77
Because the Bugatti Veyron is so 2006, Aston Martin’s gone and introduced the One-77, which is now in development and will be custom-built for 77 rich bastards. You’ll be hearing about its hand-built aluminum body, 7.0-liter V-12, and estimated $2.1 million price tag for years to come. But you read about it here first.

MOMMY-MOBILE WE WOULD ACTUALLY DRIVE
2009 Mazda6
It’s not too often that we lust after practical rides, but the 272 hp Mazda6 offers more BMW-like personality than any mass-produced Japanese sedan deserves. This $19,220 rice rocket will make driving enthusiasts proud, and it has plenty of trunk space for bulk purchases of mom jeans.

 

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We unveiled our RPM Awards in the November issue of Maxim, featuring the seven of the sweetest rides 2008 has to offer. The Honor Roll is the best of the rest…
























ACHIEVEMENT IN PARTY-ENABLING TECHNOLOGY
2009 Dodge Ram
Chrysler engineers must have an Old School DVD looping in their cubicles: They’ve converted the walls of the new Dodge Ram truck bed into drain-plug-equipped coolers that can hold 120 12-ounce cans and ice. Somebody’s even been watching porn: They’ve named the feature “RamBox.”

PEDESTRIAN PRESERVATION BMW
Night Vision
If poky bipeds in front of you don’t have the decency to scream, “I’m walkin’ here!” BMW’s Night Vision—an option offered on the 7 Series—helps keep road kill counts low by scanning ahead and warning you of any hapless humans in your way.

BEST CONCIERGE FOR NON-ARISTOCRATS
Ford Sirius Travel Link
If you’re buying a Ford, you’re probably not a Rockefeller, but you can play one with this add-on. The politely obedient navigation/info system delivers weather maps, sports scores, and movie times with nary a sniff; it even fills you in on nearby gas prices.

TREND THAT MUST END AWARD
Mechaphilia
Lots of men love cars, but 57-year-old Washington resident Edward Smith is the Gene Simmons of sheet metal, since he’s claimed to have made love to roughly 1,000 cars—including his current flame, a VW Beetle named Vanilla. Smith is profiled in a British documentary called Strangelove that gives new meaning to the phrase “auto erotica.”

THE STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS AWARD
2009 Dodge Viper ACR
The ACR pairs the Viper’s 600 hp V-10 with a crazy aero package. The result: 1,000 pounds of downforce at 150 mph. You’ll stick to the tarmac like your sneakers to the peep-show-booth floor.

FASTEST FAMILY CAR 2009
Cadillac CTS-V
Big, bad Caddies used to be reserved for Mob heavies and bookies, but the supercharged 550 hp CTS-V ($60K est.) attracts a whole different breed: the speed freak who wants horsepower under the hood and a kiddie seat in back.

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You just rebuilt James Dean’s classic Porsche Spyder. Out of all the iconic cars in the world, why did you choose that one?
I’m not a psychotic James Dean fan or anything, but he was a great actor, and I love that car. It has all these great details—the red leather seats, the LITTLE BASTARD stenciled on the back. Driving it is like being on a motorcycle.

Have you always been into sports cars?
Always. I’ve had a bunch of muscle cars. My real baby is my ’69 Firebird. That car is pretty.

As a teenager, what did you drive?
I did everything on a bike. I had a little 50 cc Honda street bike, then a KZ550, then a Ninja 1000, then a lowrider Harley. My brother Paul let me drive his Audi Fox, but I banged it up. Man, I destroyed that car.

What happened?
I wasn’t paying attention, the roads were wet, and I crashed it. He was not happy.

Any other accidents?
I’ve gone down on my bikes a few times, but it’s never been too nasty—I just scraped up my arms and stuff. Thank God I never made contact with a car, but I’ve had the tires slide out from me. That’s no fun. It takes a couple of good accidents to get you driving a little safer.

What’s the coolest car you’ve driven on Entourage?
I love that old Lincoln convertible with the suicide doors. I also got a huge kick out of driving the Aston Martin DB9 because it’s so fast.

What’s your personal speed record?
I’m not a speed demon, but I’d say 130 mph.

Have you ever used your celebrity to get out of a ticket?
All the time. Back in the day I did a few episodes of NYPD Blue, and cops loved that show. They’d freak out. “You’re that dude from NYPD Blue!”

Any tips on having sex in a car?
Get a convertible. It’s much easier.

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QUICK SPECS

CPU: 1.8 GHz 64-bit AMD MT-34 Processor Graphics: ATI Radeon Xpress 200M Drive: DVD +-RW OS: Microsoft Vista Ultimate Edition Hard Drive: 160GB Other: Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, Webcam, Media Center MSRP: $19,800

Don't let something like The Great Depression 2.0 keep you from owning what really matters in life...like this poverty-provoking $19,800 laptop made by Ego Lifestyle for Bentley Motors. It's powered by a 1.8 GHz AMD Turion processor ($160), an ATI Radeon XPress 200M graphics card, a 160GB hard drive, and another $19,000 worth of love. All this can be yours for just signing on the dotted line and going five dollar footlongs for the rest of your life. Hit the jump for more photos of the exclusive (only 250 made), but undriveable Bentley.

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QUICK SPECS

Features: • Seamless interior • Molded insole • Contoured foot bed • Mid-foot support system • Full leather breathable MSRP: $95.00

The Skinny: From the makers of the do-everything Swiss Army Knife comes a new line of footwear which pretty much only do one thing (be shoes), but they do it well.

The Good: I took to the rugged terrain of a disc golf course in Illinois, which is hardly the Alps, but that's about as extreme a situation as my feet could find in the Midwest. The Monchs were light, breathable, and comfortable, so they wore more like tennis shoes than traditional hiking boots. And when an errant drive led me into a marshy hazard, they handled it like champs. I ended up popping off the socks for the last few holes and they almost felt better barefoot. Added bonus: I won the round. And you know what Spike Lee says.

The Bad: The inner material made my socks turn pink when they got wet. But that's OK, because my other pink socks are getting old. So think twice before wearing your good toe socks to break them in. 

Still Awaiting the Shoe Knife... I was really hoping that shoes from the company that makes Swiss Army Knives would have at least one hidden tool. Like a toothpick in the aglet (the plastic thingy on the end of the shoelace) or a bottle opener in the heel. Oh well. At least the Swiss cross on the back lets nature know you are just a neutral visitor and not invading.

The Verdict: Nine toes up! I'm keeping one down only because I was forced into that ever-perplexing choice of washing my whites or buying new socks. They're on the pricey side at $95, but if you want to invest in a good pair of trail shoes that you can wear among humanity instead of only miles away from it, Wengers are the perfect fit.

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