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• how to survive a hurricane.

• Enjoy these modern conveniences now, suckers!

• Joey Chestnut eats like a true American hero.

• Griselda Blanco is the Godmother of crime.

• Try something unique with your summer vacation.

• 9 things you should have in your home, but never use.

• Grant Achatz is the real iron chef.

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	Steve Carell Gets Smart
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• Commercial for the most absurdly named towing company you'll ever find.

• 10 of the worst McDonald's Happy Meal toys.

• 65 things that look like Pac-Man.

• Former TV stars arrested in meth lab.

• If historical events were depicted by children...

• How do you know if you're a freak of nature? If you can do one of these 10 tricks.

• Arizona Diamondback's catcher out with a fractured testicle.

• The Onion News Network teaches you how to pretend like you care about the election.

Take a Brow

Businessman, Businessman, Businessman!
Our news correspondent tracks businessmen in their natural habitat.

On Location: AVN Expo
We bombarded Sin City's annual celebration of porn, with a few hilarious burning questions.

Why Aren't These People Working?
Check out our man on the street quizzing some slackers he caught ditching their jobs.

iPhone Commercial: Stan - Designer
The perfect phone for creative professionals who aren't very creative or professional.

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The Best Beards of All Time
These are the mug shrubs you've wished you could grow since puberty.

Fashion: Recipes For Success
Five of New York's hottest young chefs offer fresh takes on haute cuisine.

7 Animals More Desperate for Sex Than Men
Men will do, say, or put up with just about anything to get laid. And we've still got nothing on these beasts.

Maxim.com Declares Abstinence
No more! We´re declaring an end to any more "I´m f**king Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Seth Rogen" music videos—unless it stars these guys.

Top Afro-Rocking White Guys
Semi-Pro’s Will Ferrell follows a fine tradition of Afro-rocking white guys.

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Joey Chestnut Eats Like a True American
The competitive eating champ shares the secret to his title-winning ways

Searching For the Godmother of Crime
In the bloody underworld of Scarface-era Miami, there was no crime lord more ruthless than Griselda Blanco.

Summer's Supercharged Vacations
Fulfill your most extreme dreams at these adrenaline-packed fantasy camps.

9 Things You Should Have in Your Home, But Never Use
This crap will convince your guests that you live the life of a true gentleman.

Grant Achatz is the Real Iron Chef
How the most innovative cook in America, faced his worst nightmare and won.

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Gabrielle Union

She would waste Gabrielle Confederacy!

Anita Briem

She looks this good, and it's only 2-D.

A judge working a double-homicide case tells the defendant…

Games

Metal Gear Solid cartoon makes you like cartoons again.

Funny

65 things that look like Pac-Man.

Video

Commercial for the most absurdly named towing company you'll ever find.

Lame

10 of the worst McDonald's Happy Meal toys.

Your Summer Olympic disaster guide.

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[7/8/2008]